Are You Hurting Inside?

An Opportunity for Self Expression and Reflection, in a Kind, Healing and Caring Environment

Hurting Inside? Don't know where to turn? Find confidential help right here

News:- Not near The Haven Centre? Have your appointment by phone This option is very useful if you are not sure you want to talk to someone face-to-face, or if you live too far away to come in person. Who may benefit from this? One thing I know to be true, is this; Emotional pain can become overwhelming when left to ferment and physical pain is very often the result. I offer a natural and holistic approach to help you cope with inner and emotional pain, which helps to provide comfort and reassurance for outer physical pain. How does this work? You purchase 1 hour of telephone time by clicking the button below, and we use email to set up a time (usually at the weekend), then I PHONE YOU to any landline number in the UK. You do not have to use all of your hour at once; we can pre-arrange to break it up into 2 x 30 minutes or 3 x 20 minute sessions.

What is emotional pain? Emotional pain is the heartache that results from painful life experiences. It may take the form of depression, anxiety, guilt and, of course, fear. I do subscribe to the theory that all emotional pain boils down the the fear of something, which makes us a very fearful species, I guess. Sometimes, anger is a feature of emotional pain, but this is often a disguise for feeling or dealing with some other emotional aspect from which we feel at risk of experiencing.

It's only natural, when something bad happens; The loss of a loved one, a divorce, the death of a child, a traumatic accident, a diagnosis of terminal illness, that such things are replayed over and over in the mind, occupying our every waking moment constantly.

Ordinarily, as the mind starts to come to terms with the event or experiences, things begin to settle down, and a period of adjustment results in positive decisions being made, life changes being absorbed into normal routine, and thought processes start to look toward accommodation of any threats or other circumstances. That's ordinarily, remember. Sometimes, it doesn't work that way at all.

What causes emotional pain?
Many times, how we deal with a situation or experience, is taught to us by our parents or peers. We 'learn' to respond in a certain way. When that strategy is successful, our limbic mind stores that strategy as a plan of action and refers to it whenever required, as a survival mechanism. Each time this plan works, it becomes reinforced. We can't help but follow the same course of action, it's like we're hard wired to respond in a certain way.

Our life experiences may be 'flavoured' by past trauma, neglect, abuse, abandonment, illness, chemistry, genetics or death. As adults we may be faced with divorce, redundancy, death of a parent, infidelity, crime, accident or violence. How we deal, or don't deal, with these things is going to be influenced by our childhood 'writings on our wall', and we may find ourselves troubled by recurring nightmares as we struggle to let go of the past.

Guilt may cause us to hold on to painful memories, and we may find that worrying about who is to blame and feelings like 'I must be punished' will cause us to relive the experience or event over and over again in our minds, until we can think of little else. This is when we tend to go into self destruct, and our bodies become exhausted with trying to cope with the hurt, and the pain, and the guilt, and the punishment. When there is no obvious punishment, we often find ways to punish ourselves. We're not built to take this kind of self abuse, and depression is a common resulting condition of inner hurt and emotional pain.

With depression, comes lack of self esteem, hopelessness, worthlessness, powerlessness, haunting nightmares, memories and anxiety. It's not unusual for people to feel that life has lost its meaning and that life isn't fair. Certain amounts of emotional pain are common and normal. But beyond a certain threshold, the pain can become so intense, so overwhelming, that they find it difficult to find any solace at all.

What do you find are some of the more common coping strategies?
Common coping strategies are geared toward hiding, softening or eliminating the pain. Alcohol, drugs, anger or aggression, straightforward denial, promiscuity, brashness, repression, self harm, reclusiveness, gambling, internet porn, internet shopping, are all sited as common tranquilizers of emotional pain. But none of these are usually considered reliable ways of dealing with emotional pain. In fact the opposite is true. These things come with their own underlying disharmony. They usually cause more problems than they solve, if not immediately, then later on, as things like alcoholism and drug addiction take their toll, or OCD or PTSD become attached to behaviour, and issues relating to them start to influence our own mental state, and that of others around us.

What can I do to help reduce the pain I feel inside?
The first requirement to healing is probably easier said than done. That is, letting go of the traumas of the past. The reason this is difficult is because the afflicted person becomes stuck in a cycle of worry, guilt and uncertainty, in which the same problem goes round and round in circles, reinforcing the emotional pain. Somewhere around that circle of despair, we have to find a way to take out a small segment, like taking the first slice out of a cake.

How are we going to do that? This is where talking comes in, the odds-on favourite to get a result in my book. Soon after, and we may be talking about 2 treatments later, or 3, or 4, we will introduce a little meditation, maybe a little massage, or reflexology, whilst at the same time, developing simple, easily achievable strategies to help you rebuild your life, and health, and wellbeing, and self esteem.

It will not surprise you to hear that there are recognizable links between physical and emotional pain. We talk about having a 'broken heart', 'my head is exploding', 'I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach', 'I ache everywhere'. The links between how we feel physically and how we are hurting inside, emotionally, are very strong. Why do we feel vulnerable at these times? Because we can become alienated from others. We can feel alone, that nobody cares, or nobody understands, or wants to understand. Others may see us 'going inside ourselves' and think that we don't want them to interfere, or worse, fear that we have a contagious condition that they should avoid. This happens when someone dies. Otherwise caring people can walk away, as if death is catching.

The point here is to instill a degree of optimism so that you see how it is possible for you to grow beyond the pain. To enable you to regain control over the excess of emotions that is driving this emotional pain, and allowing you to experience your feelings in a controlled environment and within a known 'zone of tolerance'.

Note that this is not a quick fix, gone today, back tomorrow, kind of therapy. This means THOROUGH, this means the HURT IS GONE, this means BACK TO YOUR OLD SELF, this means EMOTIONALLY FREE, this means WITHOUT PAIN, and this means INNER HEALING. The kind of inner healing that tablets can't give you. Sure they can dull the pain, yes, they can knock you out so you don't feel anything at all, but who wants to live like that? They don't address the problem, do they? When your prescription runs out, the problem comes back with a vengeance and may even bring with it a now realized medication addiction.

How safe are these alternative treatments?
The treatment that I offer is 100% safe. Talking is comforting and reassuring and effective. Meditation and massage are non-addictive physically, but they feel SOOOOO GOOOOOOOD that you will probably want to partake of them again, and again, and again. Just because your mind and body instinctively knows and tells you they are healing to the mind, healing to the body, and good in every way. Helping you, and supporting you, as you take the necessary steps to work through the pain you have been feeling.

Why should I come to you?
I think you'll be amazed at how this works! People come back to me afterwards and tell me the exact moment, almost to the sentence, they felt things turn around. They are describing the moment when they felt instinctively that they had started to heal from the inside. And I have to say, THIS IS WHY I DO THIS WORK! One chap I spoke to recently, made 3 appointments over 3 weeks and kept cancelling the day before. I knew that one day he would buck up the courage to come and weeks later he finally arrived. At the end of the first session, he said; 'I don't know why I kept sabotaging my previous appointments, I'm really sorry for messing you about, but do you know what? Coming here, staying here and seeing this through, was the best decision I ever made in my life. I feel like a huge weight's been lifted off my shoulders'. Needless to say, he has kept his follow up appointments and not missed a single one.

I can't tell you, am not telling you, my way is better than somebody else's way. I don't know exactly, how other therapists use their skills in this area. They will have their own techniques, some of which are similar, some will be different. All I know is, I use a range of techniques, employed separately, or together, to find answers to questions like; 'How could this happen?' and 'Why me?' I use techniques with wonderful sounding names, like The Swish Technique, The Rewind Technique, Revisiting. We gently and compassionately look at areas like, evaluating worries, putting things in perspective, emotional processing techniques (often using EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique), examining and challenging self-criticism. We sometimes use metaphor, reframing or future pacing techniques, among others.

My final message to you is this: Sometimes life just gets too much! Sometimes other people let us down, trick us, upset us, steal from us, cheat on us or even bully us into submission. Sometimes we feel like the whole world is against us and that is when we feel at our lowest. What happens then? The one person you thought you could talk to, isn't interested, doesn't want to get involved, or is afraid that your negativity will rub off on them. That's when you find out who you're real friends are.

I don't just provide a listening service; If I can help in a practical way, with suggestions or ideas, then I try to help you reach useful conclusions. Don't wait until it gets worse. Don't wait for depression to set in. The sooner you start talking to someone who is listening, the sooner you are likely to see a way through the pain and the hurt. If you live in any of the towns and villages on the left of this article, you are well within a 2-40 minute drive of The Haven Healing Centre, and I'd be delighted to see you.

Please call Phil Chave on 01761 462722 to make your appointment or to talk about a treatment plan structured around your needs.

Don't wait. Make your appointment today. You'll be glad you did!

P.S. So much physical and emotional pain and suffering come from the fact that we can't set aside the hurt inside. You can come to The Haven, or we can talk on the phone. Why not set up an appointment right now? Talking is stress free, chemical free and naturally soothing. Talking does not interfere with your current medication or health plan. If coming to The Haven Healing Centre is impossible because of distance, let's talk on the phone. Make your appointment by purchasing your telephone time below. Remember, I call you!

---

If you have any thoughts on this, please write to me at:
Philip Chave © 2008-

Note: DISCLAIMER: This information is not presented by a medical practitioner and is for educational and informational purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read.

Want to help maintain the Distant Healing Service? Please visit: Online Donations. Thank You.
Go Back One Page
Home Page
Top            

Main Menu • Home Page • Healing Request Contact Form • • Main Menu
• Telephone Help with EFT • Gift Vouchers • Products Page • Testimonials • Disclaimer •