Distant Healer, Philip Chave, Spiritual Healer. Sharing the healing experience online since 2003
Distant Healer - Give yourself the gift of healing energy, the wisdom to accept it,
and the knowledge to use it for your greater good. Phil Chave

Back One Page

About Phil

Request Healing




Email a Friend



Gift Solutions

Bookmark and Share

Phil Chave
Phil Chave
creator of Distant Healer

Internet Porn Addiction - Pornography Addiction Counselling

Do you feel addicted to internet porn?
    Is pornographic material a large part of your life?
        Marriage suffering because of internet addiction?
            Need help and don't know where to turn?

There is no doubt that internet porn ruins lives!

It destroys families, it ruins relationships, it alienates your friends and family who think you're weird. You eventually think you're weird! It corrupts the mind and generates huge amounts of emotional pain. Internet sex and pornography

Once you pay attention to your body instead of what is going into your head, pornography eventually produces feelings and expressions of guilt, shame, sadness, depression, rage, hatred (usually of self), disgust, disappointment, remorse, contempt (again, usually for self), anxiety, embarrassment, emptiness and many other feelings.

The fact is that pornography can bring a few seconds of pleasure. It can be educational (in a technique kind of way) and fulfilling. That's how, and sometimes why, it becomes a problem in the first place. Porn as a pleasure becomes the lie that we buy into. We become the victim.

In the end, the list above of emotional 'outage' becomes the dominant feature. All you are left with is the knowledge that you have become addicted to porn and then the pleasure stops. That's when most people think about finding help.

But I feel really exposed about talking about this
Exactly! The first appointment is always the worst. Some will feel embarrassed, some ashamed. Most will worry about what I think of them.

Two things: I am not here to judge you, I'm not going to judge you (you're probably already doing that yourself). My role is to support you, to find ways of healing this addiction and help you put your life back on track. I welcome you all to work your way through this addiction and find personal stability on the other side.

I'm a bit worried about what people are going to think of me
Yes, I know! This is a very natural response. But, why are you coming for treatment? If you're coming BEFORE anybody finds out, well then I'm here to help and support you through that process. Using keyboard to access sex and pornography

Don't forget, nothing you can say is going to shock me; I've heard it already. I can help you! I am already helping fellow sufferers. They are coming to Cheddar from all across southern England and Wales. You don't have to deal with this alone. There is help available.

If you're coming to save your marriage or relationship, well people know already and have already decided what they think of you. This process of treatment and therapy will give you hope and give those around you a reason to be proud of you.

There has been a mini-explosion of self referrals recently. If you're still thinking about it, or you're on the verge of picking up the phone, don't wait. Ring now and let's get started repairing your life and relationships.

1. A real life example from therapy:- Recently, a man in his early twenties came for his appointment and was talking about how he had experimented with almost every soft and hard drug available on the street at the time. He was heavily into heroin, ecstasy, mushrooms, and more, but of all these addictions, the one he was having most difficulty with, was (and is now), pornography.

2. Another real life example:- John (not his real name) was a leading sales executive in a telecom firm. He had access to the highest speed and latest top of the range computer equipment because of his job. He became tempted to click on some of the links in spam emails that promised him a good time. Fairly quickly he became hooked and eventually his wife noticed irregularities on his credit card statement. Not so much who, but how much.

He started to get charged for things he wasn't even doing, but his computer was also playing up and, of course, his activities became apparent through the IT team at work who were going through his machine trying to fix it. John was fired from his job.

3. Another real life example:- Dave (his real name by request) has been thrown out of the matrimonial home because of internet porn. His wife lost interest in sex during and following her first pregnancy. Dave, who had no particular interest in porn other than to joke with his mates at work, stumbled across porn when removing the safe-guards in his Google preferences for filtered search results.

He felt unable to talk to his wife about their reduced activity, as when the subject did come up, or any references on TV promted conversation of the same, his wife was unable to talk about it openly, resorting to snide comments that made him feel worthless and unloved. (It's worth noting here that sometimes this happens in relationships when there is a new addition to the family.

Loyalties change, circumstances change, everything changes, which is why it is a good idea to keep the communication going throughout. There is a possiblity of post-natal depression, which is treatable, but often makes for a very powerful wedge. There can be lots of other reasons too, of course....... )

4. Another real life example:- Rachael (her real name by request) is married and has 3 children. Prior to raising a family, Rachael had an office job and was very computer literate. During maternity leave, Rachael found the time alone very depressing at a time when her mind and logic told her she should be happy. Internet sex and pornography

Her husband worked long hours and during the third pregnancy, Rachael's friends suggested she join a chat room to keep in touch, and all her friends would, from time to time, log on and chat to her. This seemed the ideal solution. Later, as the friends gradually slowed down the contact and reduced the number of log ins, Rachael started looking elsewhere for 'chat', and this gradually began to consume more and more of her day.

Eventually, she would get up and log into her favourite chat rooms while getting dressed and eating breakfast at the same time. She would often find herself still online when the family came home from school and work, later in the afternoon.

The house started to look a mess, her normal duties started to slide and eventually, she didn't even bother to get dressed, but instead, spent all day and all evening in her dressing gown. Rachael was in denial and refused any help from the rest of the family.

She began to see the rest of the family as a burden and started to resent their intrusions. Rachael eventually left home and went to live with a man she met in a chat room. This was after months of secret phone calls, secret letters and secret meetings, both online and offline. She thought this was the ideal solution to her situation, until she realized her new man was grooming several other women in chatrooms all over the country.

5. Another real life example:- Paul (not his real name), was a car mechanic at one of those exhaust and tyre centres. He had difficulty finding girl friends and was shy about his appearance. He was born with a cleft lip for which plastic surgery did little to help. He felt ugly, and his advances were routinely rejected. He turned to internet pornography and phone sex to satisfy the needs of a young man with raging hormones. He would rationalize that this was safe sex and not a real problem and spent a long time in denial that this was becoming a problem for him.

When he did find someone he was interested in, the demands he placed on the fledgling relationship was such that the young lady would run a mile, not because she found him ugly, but because he was expecting to recreate, however innocently, the scenes he was viewing in these sex movies. Clearly, not a good basis for a lasting relationship.

CD & MP3 option

In Conversation with Philip Chave - Understanding, Coping and Eliminating Pornography Addiction and Sexual Addiction

Over 2.5 hrs of Q&A on 2 CD's. Self help when you need it most! Say goodbye to porn addiction fast.

Clicked link opens in a new window.
Order page
In Conversation with Philip Chave -
Understanding, Coping and Eliminating Pornography Addiction and Sexual Addiction

How to Treat and Overcome Your Porn Addiction, Masturbation Addiction and Sexual Addiction
Porn addiction can have an incredibly destructive influence on a persons life; often the damage is done long before anyone realizes there is a problem. Relationships, marriages and friendships can be torn apart in an instant of discovery, while millions of others struggle with their porn addiction for years in secret, often at the expense of their families, their jobs, their social life and their own physical health.

Porn addicts suffer from low self-esteem, fear of discovery, and can spend hours locked in a fantasy world of their own making. It is one of the most difficult addictions to overcome, especially when you feel you are on your own and there is nobody to turn to. That's where this 2 CD set is designed to help you. By providing the tools and ideas you need to overcome your addiction and escape those feelings of isolation, secrecy and dependence on pornography.

Listen to 'In Conversation with Philip Chave', and learn how to leave porn addiction behind you.

NEW! - MP3 option now available for immediate download.

What is pornography addiction (brought in from internet addiction page)
Pornography addiction is a form of sexual addiction characterized by the overuse or abuse of pornography. Online pornography addiction can be defined as a psychological addiction to, or dependence upon, pornography obtained via the Internet, characterized by obsessive viewing, reading, and thinking about pornography and sexual themes to the detriment of other areas of one's own life.

A great deal of time is spent in activities necessary for the behavior, engaging in the behavior, or recovering from its effects, and over time, there is a need to increase the intensity or frequency of the behavior in order to achieve the same or desired effect. The addictive and progressive nature of pornography is well documented, as is the control it can take of a person's life and relationships. In order to satisfy their addiction, addicts will spend extended periods of time searching the internet for new or increasingly hardcore pornography.

Using laptop to access sex and pornography Once online pornography becomes rationalized, and what was once taboo, naughty or just plain sexy, no longer holds the same stimulation, there is a natural desensitization to specific types of images, and there is a need to escalate to more shocking, rougher, kinkier or more bizarre images and video. This can be mind altering, in that, a person can start to think that this is something they've never seen, never done, or never thought of before.

There may be a desire to act out some of the more experimental aspects depicted in the pornographic material, and this, assuming they don't already know, is when a spouse can become suspicious. More and more demands of an uncharacteristic nature can lead to questions being asked and eventually the risk of being caught is high. The alternative is to seek a partner outside of the relationship.

Is sex addiction the same as pornography addiction?
Not really, but porn, in all its forms, is often rationalied as a fairly safe substitute. Sex addiction can be a high risk behaviour to the individual, whereas internet sex, phone sex, cyber sex, pornography and sex movies are seen as medically 'safe'. This demonstrates that there can be a pre-existing problem that culminates in internet porn addiction.

The sexual addiction was already present but the individual looks for additional or accelerated tranquilization that involves the internet and satisfies the 'power struggles' that are often a feature of sex addiction. The problem is NOT the internet. The internet is just a tool to satisfy a need and provides an alternative outlet for the sex addict.

Few people self-refer for pornography addiction
It's true! Very few people self-refer for pornography addiction. I originally came across this whilst treating depression. Depression can be one of the side effects of porn addiction. The feeling of powerlessness and feeling like you will never get it back. You feel as if you are losing a part of yourself. It's painful, and disempowering, and scary.

Child finding pornography on his computer There is power in all those negative emotions mentioned above, but it is negative power. That's how it creates negativity in our lives that unfolds as depression, discomfort, draining us of energy and our very life force. Whatever is showing up in your life is designed to help you reclaim your power. That's what treatment here is designed to do.

Another reason often sited for reluctance to self-refer, is the realization that this addiction involves a machine. Chemical addiction is seen as acceptable as it is seen as something we have no control over. How can I be addicted to a machine? Yes, your computer is just a machine and looking at porn has become a serious habit. The problem is NOT the computer. The computer is just the tool you use to satisfy your habit.

To illustrate how difficult it is to break free: Hold your hands about 6" apart and ask someone to tie a single cotton thread around your hands. Now pull apart. What happens? The thread breaks. Notice how wrapping your hands in more and more strands of cotton makes it harder and harder to break free. Well, pornography is like this. The more you look at it, the more tempting it is to look at more explicit imagery, and the more difficult it is to break free from it.

Break free and put the POWER back into your life - Self-refer
Because men (or women) rarely self-refer for this problem, for those that do I have nothing but the highest admiration. It takes guts to make the decision to self-refer. There are lots of reasons for that. One is that of cause and effect.

We can clearly see how cigarette addiction, alcohol addiction or drug addiction can have a profound effect on the body. But we don't necessarily accept that pornographic imagery, and movies, and verbal interaction can have such a detrimental affect on the body, or the mind. It is a difficult subject to talk about. It is a difficult subject to discuss with a stranger, or to anyone really.

But the fact that you have the inner strength to do this makes my part really easy and your part a sure thing. You will find that reading this page will make you feel powerful. Making your appointment will help you stay powerful. Following through with your appointments will see you gain back your inner power and conquer all.

These are my only rules
  • You cannot say anything wrong
  • You have a right of self expression
  • I am not here to pressurize you to conform
  • My job is NOT to judge you in any way
  • Our conversation is strictly confidential
  • It is okay to make mistakes
  • Relapse is not a punishable offence
Other treatments available - Use of content control and monitoring
Some clinicians and support organizations recommend using voluntary content control mechanisms (also known as "Internet filters" and "censorware"), internet monitoring, or both as a tool in the treatment of purportedly excessive Internet use.

This is perhaps a good first try, but successfully treating any kind of addiction involves more than just mechanical means to prevent relapses. Addressing the reasons for the excessive moves into online pornography, cybersex, chat rooms, ebay, facebook and the like, is what gives the addicted individual the means to come out of their addiction.

Use the computer - don't abuse the computer
If you are already hooked on internet porn, or addicted to surfing the web for sex, make yourself a confidential appointment and give the Haven Healing Services a try. If you live in any of the towns and villages in the panel below this article, you are well within a 2-40 minute drive of The Haven Healing Centre, and I will do everything I can to help you with this problem.

Please call Phil Chave on 01934 740275 to make your appointment or to talk about a treatment plan structured around your needs. Singles or couples are welcome.

Don't wait. Make your appointment today. You'll be glad you did!

Best Wishes from Phil
P.S. If you or your partner are having relationship problems because of internet addiction, porn addiction, cybersex addiction or gaming addiction, and you want to change, pick up the phone and give me a call! I can see you at your convenience, in a confidential and safe environment, where you can talk if you want to, and I will personally teach you and hand you the tools and techniques you will need for success. If you want to write first, please use the email address below.

The Self Healing Meditation CD The Cord Cutting Technique CD Help Yourself. The Miracle of Self Healing CD
The Healers Self Healing Meditation CD - Playtime approx. 35mins The Cord Cutting Technique, a CD by Philip Chave The Miracle of Self Healing; a CD by Philip Chave

Free Yourself from Smoking the Easy Way Relaxation at the Beach
Relieve Emotional Stress
Facing Surgery? Reduce Anxiety/Promote Healing
The Self Help Stop Smoking CD by Philip Chave The Relexation at the Beach CD by Philip Chave The Surgery Assistance CD by Philip Chave

  Please share this page with your friends. Thank you.
All of These Local Areas Are Within a Short Drive of The Haven Healing Centre, Cheddar, Somerset
Abbots Leigh, Ashwick, Avonmouth, Axbridge, Babington, Backwell, Badgworth, Bagley, Banwell, Barrow Gurney, Bason Bridge, Bath, Beckington, Berrow, Biddisham, Bishop Sutton, Bitton, Blackford, Blagdon, Bleadon, Bleadney, Bradford-on-Avon, Brean, Brent Knoll, Bristol, Burnham-on-Sea, Burrington, Butcombe, Cameley, Catcott, Chantry, Chapel Allerton, Cheddar, Chelwood, Chew Magna, Chew Stoke, Chilcompton, Churchill, Clapton, Claverham, Claverton, Cleeve, Clevedon, Clutton, Cocklake, Coleford, Compton Bishop, Compton Dando, Compton Martin, Congresbury, Coxley, Cranmore, Cross, Downhead, Draycott, Dundry, Dunkerton, East Brent, East Harptree, East Huntspill, Easton-in-Gordano, Edithmead, Emborough, Englishcombe, Evercreech, Failand, Farmborough, Farrington Gurney, Felton, Flax Bourton, Freshford, Frome, Glastonbury, Godney, Green Ore, Gurney Slade, Highbridge, Highbury, High Littleton, Hinton Blewett, Hutton, Inglesbatch, Kelston, Kenn, Kewstoke, Keynsham, Kilmersdon, Kingston Seymour, Langford, Litton, Locking, Long Ashton, Lower Weare, Loxton, Lympsham, Mark, Marksbury, Mells, Midsomer Norton, Monkton Combe, Nailsea, Nempnett Thrubwell, Nettlebridge, Newbury, Oldmixon, Paulton, Peasedown, Pensford, Pilton, Portishead, Prestleigh, Priddy, Priston, Pucklechurch, Pudlow, Puxton, Queen Charlton, Radstock, Redhill, Rickford, Ridgehill, Rodney Stoke, Rooks Bridge, Rowberrow, Saltford, Sandford, Shapwick, Shepton Mallet, Shipham, Sidcot, Somerton, Stanton Drew, Star, Staverton, St Georges, Stoke St Michael, Ston Easton, Stone Bridge, Stowey, Street, Temple Cloud, Tickenham, Timsbury, Trowbridge, Ubley, Weare, Wedmore, Wellow, Wells, West Harptree, West Horrington, Weston-Super-Mare, West Pennard, Whatley, Whitchurch, Winford, Winscombe, Wookey, Wraxall, Wrington, Yatton
For all enquiries please call Phil on: 01934 740275 Also you can: Email this page to a friend.

Main Menu • Home PageAbout PhilRequest HealingContactTreatmentsArticlesEmail a Friend
ProductsAppointmentsGift VouchersTestimonialsDisclaimer • Main Menu

Copyright  ©  Philip Chave 2003-www.distanthealer.co.uk -- www.thehavenhealingcentre.co.uk  All rights reserved.
DISCLAIMER: This information is not presented by a medical practitioner and is for educational and informational purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read.

The Haven Healing Centre is located at: The Orchard, Draycott Rd, Cheddar, Somerset, BS27 3RU